Funnies!

Pictures, Jokes, paper clippings, anything funny that makes you laugh or at least crack a smile

Symtoms of Swine Flu

Near Fredericksburg, Texas , where there is a large German-speaking Population, a farmer walking down a country road notices a man drinking from his pond with his hand.
The farmer shouted: 'Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin Gesheissen.' Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the cows have sh** in it.') The man shouted back: 'I'm from New York and just down here Campaigning for Obama's health care plan, I can't understand you. Please speak in English.'
The farmer replied: 'Use two hands, you'll get more'

ROFL thanks for the funny thread.

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

In Florida, an atheist created a case against the Upcoming Easter and Passover days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,"Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the Ruling , "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm
14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.'

Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool.

Therefore, April 1st is his day.. Court is adjourned.

You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture!
This is too good not to forward.

EEEEEKKKK! That baby thing is terrifying! terrifying? terryfing? I can't spell. I give up

jldsf

Toda